Thursday, September 17, 2009

How to: Use Toilets in the Middle East and Asia

I created this blog to address travel issues that other websites or blogs wouldn't normally cover. And one topic that you never see anything about is how to use bathrooms in the Middle East and Asia.

Here is what you will see: either a porcelain bowl (for you to sit on) or a wooden/earthen/porcelain cover over a hole in the ground (for you to squat over). You are also likely to see: A) a small basin built into or out of the wall of your bathroom stall with water flowing into it or B) A bucket and a hose.

What you are not likely to see is toilet paper.

What you should know is that toilet paper is a relatively recent and wholly American invention. It was created by us only 150 years ago (made of aloe-infused hemp) and even that didn't catch on until a softer version was put onto rolls. Believe it or not, it took a couple decades for the rolls to catch on, people buying them only after they had been heavily marketed to hotels and gas stations.

What did they use to wipe their asses before? Anything: corn husks, magazine pages, and, as is still the case in the Middle East and Asia, their hands.

So this is how you do it: take your hand, scoop some water from the basin (or bucket) and use it to wipe your ass clean. Think of it as a manual bidet.

Will you get poop on your hand? Yes, you will get poop on your hand. Use more water to clean it off. After, clean your hands in the sink with water and soap.

Oh, and use your left hand for this. If you've noticed, people in these regions will never shake hands or touch food with their left hands. This is why.

Think this is disgusting? They think it's disgusting that you dry wipe your ass and leave bits of poop to crust on your bunghole. This is why you have itchy ass. This is why you get track marks on your underwear.

Do I agree with wiping my ass with my hands? No. I just carry toilet paper with me whenever I travel to these regions.

I'm just explaining how it's done.

Happy pooping.

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